Favorite Quotes

Here are a bunch of my favorite quotes from a number of people. They're listed in cronological order, newest first.


  • Yin-Lam C.: "I am just a delta function" (discussing the distribution of his academic knowledge)
  • Sara W.: "Yes. You should start [your homework] some time before you graduate."
  • Jennie P.: "It's kind of like a house. You go in through the door, then dump the manure."
  • Ben F.: "All of the fun of having money is buying coke and whores"
  • Rick: "There are some things I like and some things I hate. I like candy. I hate France."
  • Me: "[Mathematicians] ruined all the words!" (Posted at Benji's request)
  • Bill: "Swing is like grinding with class."
  • Rick: "The only thing I want to grind with is a mirror"
  • Mali: "Reed! I'm hot and sweaty and it's all YOUR FAULT!"
  • Jonathan T: "I am shocked! Absolutely shocked to find that there is ISO mounting software at this LAN party!"
  • Rick: *pauses game of Super Smash Brothers: Brawl because of ringing cell phone*
    "Oh, it's only my sister."
    *unpauses*
  • Sam: "Kevin [Sam's roommate] and I are rarely naked together at the same time"
  • Xavia: "DEFINITELY bi"
  • Elizabeth L (comforting Elizabeth M): "Put your head in my cleavage. It always makes people feel better"
  • Jakob: "Poetry has NOTHING to do with the truth" (later revised from "nothing" to "little")
  • Person who wishes to remain Anonymous in pseudo-seriousness: "Seth, you should get syphilis!"
  • Bianca: "Do you remember that time that you asked me to do something and I did it?"
    Me: "No..."
    Bianca: "Me neither, but would you please plug the iPod in for me?"
  • Sam: "Oh. So the girls don't crowd around me until I come out of the closet..."
  • Sam: "No! No! He was talking about sperm! I was talking about GLORY!"
  • Elizabeth M: "No.. like my little brother is cute."
    Me: "Your little brother is cute?"
    Elizabeth M: "No. I don't own a little..." (bursts out laughing before finishing "little brother")
  • "Cupid's Chokehold": "I mean she even cooks me pancakes / And Alka Seltzer when my tummy aches / If that ain't love then I don't know what love is"
  • Me: "There are naked people on the ceiling."
    Helen: "All I see is a big bush..."
    (there was a plant in front of the picture from her view)
  • Random Gangster 1: "One guy and three cats..."
    Random Gangster 2: "Damn! You a pimp!"
    (commenting on myself, Sarah G, Kate M and Helen H downtown Portland one night)
  • Police officer: "Are you classified as human?"
    Korben Dallas: "Uh... Negative, I am a meat popsicle."
  • Jakob (having a mental block late at night): "But the other... purple? ... Person!"
  • Sam (during his "no Rush" week): "Rush is really lame. Like, the lamest band ever."
  • April: "You know, some times you just need to be ravaged"
  • April: "It's so cute. I love how it feels."
    Me and Elizabeth M: *exchange looks*
    Nicole: "That's what HE said!"
  • Jenny: "I'm glad I've seen John Lennon naked. It makes me feel enlightened."
  • Me: "Each page should take you no more than an hour to write"
    April: "Fuck."
  • Brita (awkwardly drinking from a drinking fountain): "This position is less than optimal."
  • Elizabeth L (to me): "Your new motto should be 'I may be cheap, but I'm not easy'"
  • Chelsea: "We're here."
    James: "We're done Frenching."
  • Elizabeth L (to me): "Your eyebrows are perhaps the scariest things in the world."
  • Brita: "I'm tired of being in love with saxophone players. I'd rather be in love with myself."
  • Elizabeth M: "If there's one thing I don't want to hear about it's my friend's boyfriend's penis."
  • April: "Let's not get into my mom- both literally and figuratively."
  • Me: "How are the essays going?"
    Elizabeth M: "Well I finished the one on procrastination, but I haven't done the anthropology one yet."
  • Somebody out on the web: "If I asked you out, would your answer be the same as your answer to this question?"
  • Me: "I'm not conceited! I'm just better than everyone else!"